Monday, August 27, 2007

Red is perhaps my least favorite color.

My nickname in college and graduate school was just "Red" because of my blazing red tresses. It's always been one of my favorite colors - symbolizing love, passion - fire.

Until now.

I didn't listen to the doctor. I know, it's my own fault. But I was overcome - er, so to speak, with desire and I all but begged. You see, we're the once or twice a day couple, and it had been nearly a week...

About five hours later, I went to the bathroom and was startled when I saw red. Bright red. Lots of it. I cried to the point where I couldn't breathe - choking - rendering me incomprehensible. Patrick was trying to find out why I was crying and as I finally blurted out

"I'm bleeding. Bright red."

We both crumpled onto the bed, and he held me as he consulted Dr. Google.

Apparently not uncommon in the first trimester, blood is nonetheless a very frightening thing to find. All night long I laid in bed and grieved, sleeping fitfully about 10-20 minutes at a time when my sobs just finally overwhelmed me.

This morning, I'm still spotting, but it's brown and very scant. Of course, the doctor's office isn't open yet - and I don't know what to do.

Sigh. I will never forgive myself if one bout of sex is what makes me miscarry.

And if it doesn't - he better be prepared for the fact that I will not touch him again for a long, long time.

8 comments:

Nico said...

Just what you didn't need! I do think it's common to have some bleeding afterwards, your cervix is tender right now with lots of new blood vessels - just one bursting can be all it takes to totally freak you out! I really hope that's all it is.

Cricket said...

Nica said everything I was going to say. That damn cervix.

Twisted Ovaries said...

Ditto what the above two nice folks said. But I do think that you should battle your way into the doctor's office, not least because it will ease the mind.

And then buy him some KY and tell him you love him and will give a helping hand a lot, because it sounds like you're like me-you enjoy it, you enjoy it with him, and it makes you feel close.

That's a round we've played off and on in our house during our pregnancy, too.

Shinny said...

I hope that you get in to see the doctor and all is found to be fine.

One thing Steve has had to learn is control. No wild crazy moves, even though I did make him wait until after the 12 week ultrasound confirmed all was still going ok. Poor guy had to wait 3 months! The way he complained you would have thought I put him on a deserted island for a year. ;)

Wishing you the best and keep us posted. We are all worried about you.

April said...

The bleeding seems to have stopped completely. Poor Patrick feels like it's his fault - and as much as I'd like to blame someone other than myself, he was the one saying "the doctor said we shouldn't" and I was the one playing the "If you loved me, you would."

The doctor has been in an emergency delivery all morning so I'm unfortunately unable to contact him, but I feel more optimistic about it than I did before. Hopefully this was just as what Nico said - a cranky cervix.

Thanks for your kind thoughts and reassuring words. They've been greatly appreciated this morning.

PiquantMolly said...

So, so glad to hear the bleeding has stopped. Be good to yourself.

Hekateris said...

The same thing happened to me a couple of weeks ago, but it took nearly three weeks before it stopped.

NO ORGASMS!!!

Hekateris said...

Damn, I think my last comment came out really strongly, and I certainly don't want you to think that I blame you or your husband - I've been so heavily in lust lately it's driving me a little too blunt. I did, however, want to say that if it crops up again, be sure to save and refrigerate any clots that you might pass, as your doctor will want to inspect them.