Measuring large

I just got back from the midwives office (driving in blinding snow, no less). The wee babe is measuring large, topping the 90th percentile for his head size. My uterus is measuring 24 weeks, and according to the original due date of May 5th that's way too big. However, last Thursday during the ultrasound they moved my due date up to either April 27th or April 29th. 

So, according to those dates I think that makes me 23 weeks along.  I have no idea. Math is hard, Barbie! 

He had the hiccups this morning, at least I think that's what was going on. The movement was very rhythmic and lasted about five minutes before it stopped. 

We spent the holiday weekend at Patrick's parents' ranch in a teensy little town of about three hundred people about an hour outside of Dallas. This is a picture he took of me with Geoffrey, one of his parents' four donkeys. 

.

My mom lives in between Dallas and Ft. Worth and my dad and stepmom live about 45 minutes south of Ft. Worth, so we did a lot of driving around. A lot. It's odd, I haven't lived in Texas since 2000, Patrick hasn't since I think 1995. Part of it feels like "home" still, but a lot of it is amazingly foreign to us both. 

Our families were all delighted about our surprise wedding. We're heading back to DFW in a month for our baby shower. We had a wonderful Christmas together, I got a new laptop (which I desperately needed) and a few other things from him. So I suppose I'm technically a mac convert now. It's taking some getting used to - but I like it. 

We're both coming down with a cold/the flu or something, so I'm sorry this is so utterly boring. 

And the bride wore black.

Today, at sometime between 3 and 4 p.m., I'm getting married. In a black dress, no less. We're keeping it quiet, not even telling our parents. Instead we'll be surprising them over Christmas. 

You would think that I would be petrified. As I'm divorced. Twice over. 

The first time, was just a month after I turned 19. We'd been dating since I was 16 - and I was in love with the idea of being in love. We were having the big princess wedding. My dress weighed close to thirty pounds as it was so heavy with crystal beading. Incidentally, I hated it. His mother picked it out, and bought it for me. I never had the chance to find my own wedding dress.  We got married where his family was from, and I stayed up the night before crying because I didn't want to go through with it.  But there were 500 people coming the next day, and I was afraid of embarrassing my parents. I was afraid of disappointing everyone. Halfway down the aisle, I had to swallow the bile rising in my throat and fight my instinct to turn and bolt.  Looking back, I should have gone with it, and ran into the mid August Texas heat.  We were married only 13 months. We lived together for about half of those. I decided I couldn't live with a man who hit me, who called me a whore almost daily - and yet oddly wouldn't sleep with me. A man who would leave the most vile, violent - bloody pornography on my computer to shock me. I left him in the middle of the night, when he was out of town. I truly believed that he would follow through on his promise and kill me. He's now remarried, and the father of a son and a daughter (I know this because he has an annoying habit of tracking me down to tell me how sorry he is that we didn't work out). 

The second time, I was 22. He was 38. I thought I was "grown up" and knew what love was. We started dating in May and were married by August. We eloped, getting married at sunset on a beach in the Virgin Islands, just the two of us.  My father was so angry he didn't speak to me for almost four months. There were times when we were happy. We were poor and still in school. Then the lies started coming unravelled. He refused to tell his best friend (incidentally his ex-girlfriend, and oddly now, one of my closest friends who no longer speaks to him) that we were married for over three months even though he spoke to her daily.  I found out the truth about why he left his last job as a professor, after he swore to me for three years that what I feared the most hadn't happened. Instead, I read the truth in a copy of a court transcript when I was looking for a computer cord in his laptop bag. And yet, I stayed with him. But his perennial depression made me feel so unloved I honestly felt as if I was dying. He wouldn't work and I was struggling to support us both. I made mistakes too - huge ones, that were simply unforgivable. Ones that I regret with every ounce of my being. I wanted children, desperately. He didn't. We tried for four years (he said later he did so to placate me), infertility treatment for about half of that. Nothing ever worked. I now am so thankful that it never did. 

Today, I'm a different person. I'm 28. I'm a bit jaded. I've lived in four states in two years. I want a partner who is financially responsible, who works hard. I want a man who I can trust, who will love me for being myself. I want a partner who makes me laugh, who will be a good father, who has the deep seated desire for starting a family and making our own traditions. I want a man who is equally comfortable in a five star restaurant and just sitting around talking to my very poor family.  I want to spend my life with someone who is honest, who's laugh makes my heart warm. I want someone who isn't afraid to admit when he's wrong, and by the same token has the heart to forgive me when I am.  I don't want a savior, but a partner. Someone to hold my hand and face what life throws our way together. I want someone who has some of the same referents, who understands my quirks, who enjoys long drives to no particular destination on a whim. I want Patrick, by my side, forever.  And I mean forever. I want to grow old with him. I want to believe in our future. And for the first time in my life, I do. 

I can see him holding our son, hear his voice singing lullabies. I respect him.  For the first time in my life, I can't honestly picture myself intimate with any other person. 

And I love him with every fiber of my being. I see his flaws, and I am brave enough to show him mine. And we love each other in spite of - or perhaps because of - them. 

And so today, we will make our bond permanent - from a legal perspective. As honestly, our lives are so inextricably entwined, that regardless of what status we have on paper - he is my only.

I'm wearing a black dress (a long story - but I tried to find something more appropriate, but this was the first dress that made me feel beautiful since I got pregnant).  And I will be amazingly happy. 

And now begins the psychotic dreams...

For the last week I've woken up at least once every night in a sheer panic. First there was the dream about someone kidnapping me and cutting Julian out of me. So horrifically gory and real. Then there was the dream that I gave birth to him, only he was see-through - like this phone I had when I was a freshman in high school - and I could see each vein, artery, organ, etc.

Last night was a doozy. I had a dream that he was huge when he was born, and he was possessed. He could talk and crawl immediately and was saying the most vile things. Then I had a minorly weird one that everyone in my dad's family sent shower gifts, but they were each personalized, and none were his name - as they didn't like it, so they each named him something different. The last one, he developed sharp cat-like teeth in utero and chewed himself out through my belly a la alien style rather than be born.

Yeah. I don't sleep so well at night anymore.

Since travel has been such an important part of our relationship, we decided to go with a travel theme for the nursery. Patrick found an adorable screen-print painting at Land of Nod of the ABCs where each letter is a different world city. We're going to paint the ceiling blue with white clouds (and glow in the dark stars) and the walls will be green with a mural of a city and train tracks. We found an old 1950s biplane that's about 2 feet wide and bright red in the basement of the house, and we're going to clean it up and suspend it from the ceiling. Patrick bought a huge lot of Dr. Seuss books and Richard Scarry books off ebay. So, Julian's library now includes over 70 total - which means the world to me as we both love to read.

I've made a few compulsive purchases - some onesies and a few all-in-one cloth diapers and some vintage diaper pins. We're likely going to do a combination of cloth and disposable diapers.

We've started the internal debate on circumcision, and I have to say it's a lot harder decision than I expected. (I want to forego it as I'm afraid they'll mangle his wee little penis - Patrick wants him to have it done).

I've got to start being better about my weight. After all my bragging that I haven't put on hardly any weight (3.5 lbs at 18 weeks) I somehow have put on over 7 in the last week and a half. And I'm having huge issues with swelling. I've always managed to have very slender ankles, but now - at night, I can barely take my shoes off because my feet are so swollen. My ankles literally disappear into the vast rolls of flesh that used to house my slender ankles. The same thing is happening with my hands, though to a lesser degree. I'm having to take my ring off during the day at work because it's starting to cut into my finger.

Patrick saw my ankles last night after I had them propped up for a few minutes and was really concerned. But the swelling isn't pitting - (i.e. if you poke it with your finger the dent doesn't stay) and I'm not having headaches (any more than normal, anyway) or other symptoms of preeclampsia. I guess I'm just one of the lucky ones for whom edema seems to happen early in the pregnancy and when it's less than thirty freaking degrees outside. I shudder to think what would happen if I was pregnant in the summer.

More Ovaltine please.

I'm addicted to Ovaltine at the moment. Though I sometimes cheat on it with a big glass of carrot juice. The carrot juice sends Patrick into convulsions as he thinks there's nothing nastier on the planet.

We're supposed to fly out this Friday to go to Astoria, Oregon for the weekend. Unfortunately, those plans are on hiatus as the poor people there have been deluged (quite literally) with horrible weather. We were expecting a potential weather snag in our travel plans when we went to Key West in late July, but I can't say that I saw this coming. I guess now we'll land in Portland and travel east a bit instead. Who knows.

It snowed over 7 inches last night, and has been snowing all morning (though lightly). It's gorgeous. I'm working from home - trying to pretend that I'm being productive, but mostly looking outside and wishing I had the energy to get up and make a snowman. Or I don't know - wash dishes or do laundry or something similarly exciting. I do feel better than I did at first, but the energy reserves are still running very low. The midwife said my iron is too low, which is what's causing it. I'm trying to fix it via diet rather than pills, and I'm not sure how well it's going.

This last week I started leaking colostrum rather badly. It startled me, as I sprung a full fledged leak while wearing a silk shirt. I thought it was a bit early for this to happen. Meh.

We got our first baby gift in the mail today - a Christmas ornament from a friend of mine in KC. I was very touched, and had big heaping sobs when I opened it and saw what it was. It's still so surreal to me that this is happening.

And with this boring post concluded, I'm heading to make more Ovaltine.

Wow.

It's not often that I'm able to say that I'm right - but...

It's a boy. Very, very definitely a boy.

(He even shook it at us a bit, lest we were unconvinced.)

His face, however was much harder to catch.

We're having a boy. Wow. A son.

I don't even know what to do. I've never been around a baby boy. I have three younger sisters, Patrick has one. We're both hopelessly lost as to what to do.

Next year, our tree will have a "J" on it.

For Julian.

Julian Randall.

Our son.

Wow.

Myths, Old Wives' Tales and Urban Legends

We started out with this pregnancy saying we were going to be surprised in the delivery with the sex. Except - well, I am the world's most impatient person.



At 18 weeks (give or take a few days) I'm decidedly rotund. Everyone who sees me in person swears to me that it'll be a girl. Oddly, I've felt a surety topping 80% that it's a boy from the beginning.

The midwife practice that I switched to won't do my ultrasound until December 20th, so Patrick and I decided to "treat" ourselves to an early Christmas present at one of those 3d/4d ultrasound places. Our appointment is at 8:30 tonight - and I'm well... honestly I'm a little freaked out by knowing. Why? I have no idea. I'd be happy either way, and I know he would too. I think he'd honestly prefer a girl, but that preference is waning with time.

Just for fun, I thought I'd try out a few of the "old wives' tales and see what they predict:

Carrying High, Carrying Low

The way you are carrying during your pregnancy is one of the most oft cited ways of determining the sex of your baby. The general story goes that, if you're carrying low, you're having a boy. If you are carrying high, then you must be having a girl.

I'd say that I'm carrying fairly high, but that's because the bebe is right smack at the tip top of my uterus.
Prediction: Girl.

What Your Urine Says

This next test to determine a baby's sex may not be for everyone, although it is very simple. Just take a sample of your urine and mix it with Drano. Depending on the color change of your urine, you will have a boy or a girl. Unfortunately, there is no consensus on what color equals which sex. So, if you do decided to try this and your urine turns bluish yellow, brownish, brown, black or blue you will be having a boy. If your urine looks more greenish brown, green, blue or doesn't change at all, then you're having a girl. But be warned: if you decide to do this test, there could be some pretty harsh fumes produced - not to mention the possibility of an explosion!

Yeah. I didn't try this. Sorry. The thought of urine and Drano together, just no. I don't care what my "urine" says.
Prediction: Who knows.

Heartbeats

One belief that has been around for some time, and even had some acceptance in the medical community at one point, is that the fetal heartbeat differs for boys and girls. If you're having a girl, then the fetal heart rate will be above 140. A boy will have a heart rate below 140. However, that pesky science has reared its little head again to say that this is complete fiction. A baby's heart rate is not affected by its sex until it is born, when a girl's heart rate will increase considerably compared with boys during labor.

Heartbeat two days ago: 155.
Prediction: Girl.

Craving Something…Sweet?

Many people believe that your cravings are caused by the sex of your baby. So, if you can't get enough chocolate, you could be having a girl. Does the idea of drinking straight lemon juice sound delicious to you? Then those sour cravings are a result of the little boy inside of you. However, if you go by the scientists, then some of them will claim that you're not even having cravings because cravings just don't exist.

Considering I only crave sour, salty and spicy things, I'd say:
Prediction: Boy.

Weight Gain

Thankfully, this one doesn't refer to your weight gain. The belief is that, if your husband puts on weight during your pregnancy, then you will be having a girl. If he doesn't put on a pound, then you're carrying a boy.

Not sure how in the world this is even credible as far as old wives tales go, but he's not gaining weight...
Prediction: Boy

Is Her Face Round and Full?

Some say that the shape and fullness of your face during pregnancy can indicate your baby's sex. Every woman gains weight differently during pregnancy, and every woman experiences different skin changes. If people tell you that because your face is round and rosy you are having a girl, they might be right!

They may also be wrong. I'm actually much thinner in the face now than I was before I got pregnant.
Prediction: Boy

Breast Size

Here's a test that you can do next time you change or get out of the bath. Look in the mirror at your breasts. If the right one is larger, you're having a boy! A larger left breast indicates a girl (if they're the same size, does that mean you're having one of each?).

Prediction: Boy. Bet you wanted to know my right breast is larger eh? They're both big, but the right is larger. Of course, I think it's always been a little larger.

The Dangling Wedding Ring

Hold your wedding ring over your wrist on a string or a strand of your hair. If the ring swings back and forth, you're having a boy. If it is more of a circular motion, then it's a girl. This can also be done by suspending a ring on a string above your belly.

Prediction: Boy.

Acne Analysis

Do you have acne? Some believe that getting acne during your pregnancy indicates you're carrying a girl. Maybe the acne is caused by twice the amount of female hormones?

Prediction: Boy. My face is actually much clearer than normal - er, aside from my forehead, so maybe "indeterminable"?

The stupidest one of all...

Pick up a key. If you've picked it up by the thinner end, you're having a girl. Picking it up by the bottom, rounder part means a boy is on the way. Did you pick it up by the middle? Then congratulations! You're having twins!

Prediction: I'm not having twins, that's for damn sure. Nonetheless, boy. Picking a key up by the skinny end just seems wrong to me.

Woman's Intuition

What you think you're having. In a study that asked women with no previous knowledge about their baby's sex, the moms-to-be correctly guessed the sex of their baby 71% of the time.

Prediction: Boy. I have no reason to think one way or the other, but I'll honestly be (pleasantly) surprised if I'm wrong.

Chinese Lunar Calendar

Prediction: Boy. 99% accurate my ass.

So, to sum it up: 7 things say boy, 2 say girl and I'm treating two as "undeterminable."

In other words, who knows - but hopefully we will after tonight.

So, wondering if I'm going to need an "E" or a "J" for my tree next year. (yes, we've got names picked out already)

Registry questions

My sister Vanessa is throwing us a baby shower while we're home over the Christmas holidays. I'm very grateful for it - but she's pressuring me to go ahead and register... and well - I haven't given the slightest thought to what we need or want.

I decided to go with Target and Land of Nod - but have no idea as to what to actually register for. So for those of you who have "been there, done that" or those of you who haven't - but have heard from those that have...

What recommendations do you have? What were lifesavers that you couldn't do without - and by the same token - what were wastes of money?

Injectable turkey.

Patrick's parents will be here either tonight about midnight or mid-day tomorrow. The house is about 60% boxes still. I have never used the (rather dated) oven before so I have no idea how evenly or accurately it heats. I may make a few pies tonight to make sure that it does indeed work.

Last night I had a weird dream that I was injecting the turkey using the leftover needles gathering dust in the bathroom from my old infertility treatments. I don't even want to know what that's supposed to mean.

Out, out damn spot!

I have to leave in ten minutes to board the train to take me to the closing.

I am going to be so happy when this is over and done.

After weeks of no nausea - this morning I vomited so violently while brushing my teeth that my face is again awash in red blotches, thanks to the lovely petechial hemorrhaging. While they usually were contained to my eyelids, this time they're everywhere - under my chin, on my neck, my chest, my shoulders, my arms, my eyes, cheeks, chin. The only area that seems to be immune is my nose. My great-grandfather affectionately nicknamed me "Spot" as a child because of the smattering of my freckles across my face. Somehow, the moniker seems more fitting now.

And... I'm also spotting again. Likely a result of too vigorous celebratory sex (pre-vomiting, mind you).

I seem to be damned to the red spots.

One less thing...

On Monday night, I got a call from someone who'd seen our apartment ad on Craigslist. It was late, and we'd just had a huge meal out at one of our favorite restaurants - Bistro Campagne and we were in a hazy food coma. I always get the gratin de macaroni - a delightfully sinful concoction of macaroni made with heavy cream, real butter, Gruyère and Emmental cheese. It's so tasty.

I really didn't want to return her call, as I was tired and itching myself to death over that dreaded wool dress... but on the way home I did. I was hoping I'd be able to talk her into coming by on Tuesday, as it was already after 8:30. She was very pleasant and said "I'm in the neighborhood, could I swing by in about 15 minutes?"

Hesitantly, I said yes. It was a good thing I did. She signed a one year lease yesterday - so we are out of our lease now! Hooray. We have to be moved out by the end of the month, and she takes over her new lease on December 1st.

Whew! Since she signed the lease directly with the landlord, we don't have to deal with the sublet.

Now... if I could just get the response I need about how much dolla' dolla' bill y'all I have to bring tomorrow to the closing for the house.

I feel a nosebleed coming on.

As a random aside, someone asked me if I was going to have twins as I was "as big as a house" already.

Considering I am only 16 weeks, this does not bode well for the future.

Decorating secrets

Now that we'll be moving in to the new house, we're trying to slowly divest ourselves of our um, "eclectic" furniture. Granted, we have a cute apartment.


View from the front door.



From the kitchen, looking into the living room. I'm going to miss the built-ins for this place. And yes, the blinds and curtain in the left window are all wonky because Jack likes to try to attack them.




The kitchen, with the six boxes of china/crystal I managed to pack. Notice the eleventy billion bottles of wine, and alcohol stored on the countertops that I can no longer partake of. Oh. and the giant duster? Best $1.99 I've ever spent at IKEA because it conveniently doubles as a cat toy. Jack & Ennis HATE that thing with the power of a thousand blazing suns.

But it's just very, "apartment-ish" and our furnishings are going to look really out of place in the new house. When I left my old house, I left almost all of the furnishings behind. They were my ex-MIL's cast-offs, and while I was very appreciative of having the furniture, it just wasn't my style. And I felt weird about taking it after the divorce. So, aside from my bedroom furniture, I left it all there.


So, we're currently looking for almost all new furniture for the house. We have a little table that will work for the breakfast room, and his IKEA bedroom set will work in the guest room until we're able to buy something nicer. We've bought some vintage mid-century Thomasville furniture for the baby's room (three small dressers and a twin headboard for $300 via Craigslist). Now I just need to find a somewhat matching crib. We found a couch and chaise that I loved at Macy's this past weekend. But after spending about 30 minutes ordering it last night - the damn thing's on back order until LATE January. Screw that. I'm not waiting that long - and not paying for something that expensive (and lo, it was expensive) that I won't get for months.

So - anywho. I'm scouring Craigslist for a dining room set that is modern and clean enough for his tastes, and traditional enough - and has enough china/crystal storage for me. We're looking for random furniture, and will be largely replacing many decorative items as well.


That's where you come in.


Give me the scoop. Tell me your favorite decorating secrets, what catalogs/stores, etc. you find your best items in. We've got a somewhat flexible budget - mostly I'm just a tight ass and don't want to be spending money we don't have to for things.

I (apparently) dress left

Things around our place have been insane as of the last week. We close on the house this Thursday. Which means, as of Thursday our asses will be po' (so much so that we will be unable to afford even the remaining "o" and "r" to complete the word). But we will have keys to our new abode! We've still got 3 months left on our lease - so we're hoping we can find a sublessee soon. The landlord said if he can find someone who will take a new 12-month lease on, that he'll let us out of the contract.

I guess we're maybe 25% packed. Hmm. We move Saturday. As in - today's Monday which according to the little multi-colored one brightly colored for every day of the week panties I wore as a kid, means we'll be left only with let's see... Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday to pack. [Aside, I was a bit of a neurotic kid - and refused to wear the Saturday panties on say Tuesday. If it wasn't Saturday, I wasn't wearing them.] Um, yeah. It's going to be nuts, but we will get it done somehow.

In other news, P got a job offer today with a firm downtown that he really wanted to work for. It's in house, so the constant threat of him having to travel Monday - Thursday night every week again is gone. Salary is comparable to what he makes now (a modest jump) but it comes with a 20% of salary bonus - which is HUGE. And, he has the flexibility to work from home on occasion, which will be nice when Baby G is here. To top it off, he'll be promoted to a director position - and will be able to really utilize his skill set. I'm so happy for him. He's just elated with the news. If you know him via Flickr, please don't make mention of it - as he's not notified his work yet - and a few people from there are privy to his site. I'm delighted as this means we'll be able to work downtown together, stealing the occasional lunch date - and be able to ride the train together every day. That's an extra 2 hours a day together, of just quiet existence and it delights me to no end.

Somehow over the weekend I have either pulled something or have bruised my tailbone. Well, just to the immediate left of my tailbone. It hurts to walk, to sit, to lay down - anything. I'm hobbling like I'm about 8,000 months pregnant or that many years old. Very attractive. And my ute apparently leans fairly toward the left (and backward too). I thought as it got bigger, it would somehow 'correct' and be more typical. In the mornings though, when I'm laying in bed, I can feel the rock hard lump immediately to the lower left of my belly button. Weird. I apparently, dress left in case you were wondering. I hope as I get larger things start to be more centralized, otherwise it'll look like I'm smuggling a basketball on the left.

As I was bent over packing a box Saturday, I stood up quickly and was shocked to have my first real bout of what I can only surmise is round ligament pain. And for a brief few seconds, I seriously thought that I had been stabbed in the lower abdomen. I hope this doesn't recur often as it literally felt as if someone popped me really hard inside with a taut rubber band.

I think I may be losing my mind - but I think that maybe I felt the baby move this last weekend. I was laying down on the couch a little while after drinking some orange juice, and there was this weird sensation that sort of felt like popcorn popping inside. I think it's too early though to feel anything, as I'm just now at 16 weeks.

In other news - the pooch is getting bigger. Well, it's not so much that the pooch is very large, but I've completely lost my waist. I'm just incredibly thick throughout the torso. Maternity pants (the low-rise ones) now stay up without shenanigans on my part. And while I didn't expect to be in them this early, I will say that screw it - I am only wearing what's comfortable from now on. [Which, note to self - pregnancy did not somehow absolve you of your allergy to wool, thus the very pretty grey maternity sweater dress you bought still itches like a MOTHER FUCKER when you wear it]

Traditionally non-traditional bling

Indeed I did forget to follow through on my promise of pictures of the ring.

These pictures are kinda blurry but at least you get an idea for what it looks like. And that big speck on the sapphire? That's sensor dust on the camera. Too lazy to fix it for you this a.m. The ring is a 2.1 carat sapphire set in 18K white gold with about a half a carat of diamonds on the sides. The ring was originally made in 1910 - and now that it's sized down, the ring fits a little different on my finger than it did in these pictures. I love it, but the prongs on it snag often on clothing - and are always catching little bits of fuzz in it. I think you can click the picture to make it bigger.

I swear I wasn't...

Before you can be sworn into the bar, you have to pass a character & fitness investigation. Basically, they want to make sure that you're not behind on your debts, that you are honest and trustworthy, that you're a good person, etc.

Well - I had submitted my background information back in May - and I still hadn't been cleared. I was starting to panic, as we had to be cleared before November 1st in order to be sworn in. On the 31st, I received a letter that I hadn't been cleared and that I needed to report to a member of the committee for character and fitness. I was in an utter panic. Granted, there were some minor credit issues that I had from about 8 or 9 years ago, but I'd cleared those up and had paid them all off in full. I'd gotten sued in an eviction action by a landlord who had literally forgotten I'd already moved out - and the case was dismissed with prejudice. But there was nothing that was truly troublesome in my past. As it turns out my current employer accidentally mixed things up and essentially said that I was practicing law in this state. The problem with that is you can't technically practice law until you're sworn into a state. So, I can't advise or meet with clients directly until I'm sworn in. Thankfully, I was able to clear the matter up and I got cleared by the committee member in about 15 minutes. What a nightmare though. They also granted me a special exception, and I now get to be sworn in during the big mamba-jamba ceremony this Thursday. Unfortunately, they didn't correct my name in time for the ceremony - so I'll be sworn in under my previously married name - but hey - at least I get sworn in.

Then a week from Thursday we're closing on the house. We're trying to get the house packed up, but I'm now thinking I should have just paid someone else to pack us up. We've got so much crap - and I left so much behind when I left Kansas City. Sheesh.

Pregnancy is going pretty uneventfully. I'm in a weird sleepy phase right now - similar to right at first. I'm asleep every night by 9, and then up wide awake by 3 a.m. - and I try to fight to go back to sleep until 6 or so. I've started gaining weight, but thankfully it all seems to be in the belly thus far. I think my ass, which was sadly a bit flat to start with - will actually end up "negative" space the way things are going. Someone gave me their seat on the train today, so I suppose I must be "looking" pregnant to outsiders now. Heartburn is a bitch, and I'm in love with maternity underwear.

This does not bode well...

First, let me just say how much I hate people who steal pumpkins. We bought two pumpkins (a huge orange one) and a teensy white one during a trip we took to Traverse City, Michigan. Granted, they didn't cost much )the huge one was maybe $5) but we were planning on carving it tonight.

Of course... someone nicked it from our front porch last night. So we can't. Grrrr.

A few nights ago, Patrick reached over as I was getting undressed and said "oh honey, you've gotten something on your stomach" and tried to wipe it off. It is an angry, red stretch mark on the underside of my pooching belly about an inch and a half long. I'm only at 14 weeks. I shudder to think what my stomach's going to look like at 9 months. As I got horrible stretch marks during puberty on my hips and breasts, I knew it would happen, I just didn't expect it to so quickly.

This is addicting...

This is utterly fascinating.

http://babynamewizard.com/namevoyager/lnv0105.html

When is this going to stop?

I spent much of the morning clutching the toilet begging God (or any other deity that would listen) to make me stop throwing up.

Granted, the vomiting isn't every day anymore, but it hurts. My abs and my side muscles ache from it - and my face hurts.

At what point does this actually stop?

I've tried to cut out all the triggers that seem to make it worse. I don't eat things that I don't like the smell of, I shower with the bathroom door open (the temperature change from the steamy shower to the cold apartment sent me reeling all the time). I don't sit in train seats with unobstructed views of the outside.

There are some things though that I have to do - namely, brushing my teeth. Once meticulous about my dental hygiene, let's say that since the pregnancy started, I've been using a lot of mouthwash. I just can't handle the toothbrush in the back of my mouth. Floss either for that point. Gross, I know - but I can only stomach brushing in the morning, and usually every single time it ends up with me prostrate on the tile floor heaving.

After hitting 14 weeks, I thought it would stop. Apparently I was mistaken.

And how is it that something so tiny can make sleeping so damn uncomfortable all the time now? I can't find a single comfortable position at night. Any suggestions for that would also be appreciated as I'll spend 10 hours in bed, and wake up completely exhausted.

Now back stateside with genetic counseling report

Sheep grazing in a peat field in Donegal County. They're spray painted like that after they're sheared each spring to provide a quick way to identify who they belong to from afar.

Meenaclady in County Donegal right across from Tory Island.

View from our bedroom in the hotel in Gweedore, far Northwestern corner of the country. Gweedore is actually a completely Irish speaking area - and English was hard to come by. The shipwrecked boat in the picture can be seen up close a few images down.

Sunset at The Giant's Causeway, Northern Ireland.

Looking back over the cliffs close to Portrush, Northern Ireland.

Decaying boat run aground in Gweedore (Northwestern corner of Ireland).

(If you click on the pictures, you can see them larger)

• The trip was lovely, though it rained the majority of time we were there - and was a "bit" blustery. Think sustained winds of close to 60 mph. with gusts topping 80. We flew into Dublin and rented a car (which was "upgraded" to an SUV). Sigh. The roads there are far too narrow for SUVs, never mind the cost of gasoline in something that large. We spent the first night in Gweedore, Ireland (Gaoth Dobhair) - in the far northwestern corner. Gaoth refers to an inlet of the sea at the mouth of the Crolly River. It is the boundary between Gweedore to the north and the Rosses to the south. Dobhar is an old Irish word for water. Gaoth Dobhair translates as the aqueous estuary. The next day we slept in a little and then traversed across to Northern Ireland along the coast. Now, Ireland uses the Euro and measures distances by kilometers. Northern Ireland (part of the U.K.) uses the Pound Sterling and measures distances by miles. We had to quickly do conversions in our head as the Pathfinder only had kms on the speedometer.
• We drove to The Giants Causeway on the northern coast, and then back down to Belfast and then through to Dublin. Our flight left early the next morning, and honestly after all the travelling we'd done. We'd upgraded to business class and we lucked out and had the new lay flat seats on American. Loved them. When we got home yesterday we just sort of chilled with the kittens, and decided to take the day off from anything strenuous.
• Today I got the results back from my genetic testing. We have a 1 in 1,128 chance of Down Syndrome and a 1 in 10,000 chance of the other two trisomies they tested for that I don't honestly remember what were. Huge relief.
• Patrick's taking the remainder of our earnest money to the real estate agent today. We close on Nov. 15, so it's only about two weeks away. We're hoping to move that following Saturday - so we're starting to pack up the apartment, get utilities set up, etc.

Inspector Gadget is confused.

House News

Well the inspection was this morning, and took about five hours long. *Yawn* Thankfully, Patrick went in my place and he was actually about 25 minutes late, but it was largely irrelevant as the inspector took ages to finish up. There are some minor issues with the house - including a gas leak next to the heating system that will have to be fixed before we can move in, a few gas pipes that need to be sealed off and a few more that need to be replaced. There's some minor electrical work that needs to be undertaken - splitting a few fuses, etc. The only thing that truly concerned me was the presence of asbestos tape in the basement around a few pipes. That will need to be removed soon.

There weren't any structural problems, and the roof is in good place. Patrick said that seeing the house today made him sure that it's "our" house. We've been running around all day trying to get the last documentation for the loan, modifying insurance, etc. It's been a pain, but that's o.k. The contract's under attorney review and we've got a meeting with the attorney tomorrow afternoon about that.

Pregnancy Question

Well, questions rather. Last week (at 12 weeks) they did a triple-screen for me as part of my prenatal testing. Only, I'm a little concerned as to why they did the bloodwork, when it apparently is usually given between 15-20 weeks pregnant. Is a blood test result going to come back wonky because of this and freak me out?

My regular jeans still fit, though badly. I've gained maybe 2 pounds since this started - but it seems to all be boobs and belly. Now for the way TMI part... The one article of clothing - other than bras - that I find almost completely bothersome right now? Panties. Please give me recommendations for comfortable knickers because I'm at the end of my rope. Maybe I'm just crazy - but everything seems swollen "down there" and all my underwear are chafing me raw. Irritating. Any suggestions? I tried some new cheapy Hanes barely there things this weekend - as I didn't want to spend a lot on stuff to get me through this awkward inbetween phase, but they were glorified pantyhose with the stockings cut off. Gah. horrible.

Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeal!

The house is a fair bit out in the burbs. 40 miles out to be exact. If it was actually in the city, or one of the closer suburbs we'd easily be paying about four times what we are for the house.

We bid $29,000 under asking, and requested a credit of 1.5% of the sales price as a credit to help cover our closing costs. They just countered with two choices: either $5,000 above our initial offer or $10,000 above our initial offer with the sales price credit for closing costs. We're taking the second option because they end up being pretty much equivalent from a financial standpoint.

I am shaking I'm so excited. And deliriously happy. We were able to negotiate only putting down a $10,000 deposit - and now have less than thirty days to come up with the remaining portion of the 5% down.

Here's a better shot of the front of the house.

The two windows on the top left would be the baby's room, the middle is the hallway and the two on the top right are our room. The bottom left two windows are the dining room, then the front door, then the two right would be the living room and then the ones with the awning on them is a den that's got windows all the way around that we'll be using as an office and as an additional guest room. There's actually a deck above the office, but it's only accessible through the WINDOW in the master bedroom. Eventually we'll likely put a door in there, but not for a bit. There's a huge walk out roof-top deck on the back of the house that's accessible by a door in the guest room.

This has been a really, really wonderful day.